Structural Silence

There is silence in being a creator. It is very easy to find these days, inside the numerous and vast online communities. It is almost as if the constant noise of these platforms makes the silence more pressurized. It belongs to those who once stood close by. Those who used to encourage you. Those who looked at a drawing, an essay, a poem and said... this is interesting. This is different. This is unique. In all sincerity. But doing new things is expansive. Occupying bigger rooms means signals travel farther. And the echoes emphasize the distances. One might not want to take a position because others are watching. A review. A share. A signup or subscription. A small public nod that says ‘I recognize something here’. There is a particular kind of silence that lingers in containers you once happily lived in. Within spaces you can no longer stretch inside of. The absence in those places is familiar. It’s expected. But the boundary between who you were and who you are becoming is never quite as far away as it seems. People come and go. Encouragement abounds in the private places. Recommendations and suggestions of every shape and size. People love pairing a hobby with harmless praise. But building a practice around something unexpected has far greater implications. As if i must now earn back the trust that i broke in growing. Because when the work starts to have direction, or weight, or teeth... the silence changes.