Four-Toed Feetloaf

Prep 25 min Cook 65 min Total 1 hr 30 min Serves 6–8 Temp 375°F

Anatomical approximation in loaf-like form. Exhibits caramelized toenails, moderately uniform tissue density, and second-degree burns. Ideal for observation, dissection, and clinical consumption.

Note: This recipe makes one footloaf. Double it for two feet.

Ingredients
• 1 Tbsp vegetable oil • 2 ribs celery • ½ c. chopped onion
• 1 lb. lean ground beef • ½ lb. ground pork • ¾ c. old-fashioned oats
• ¼ c. ketchup • 1 Tbsp Worcestershire sauce • 1½ tsp salt
• 1 large egg, beaten • 2 Tbsp milk (or water) • ½ onion for ankle knob

Glaze
• 1 c. ketchup • 2 Tbsp brown sugar

Instructions

1. Preheat oven to 375°F.

2. Heat oil in a skillet and cook celery and chopped onion 7–9 minutes, until tender.

3. In a large bowl, mix beef, pork, oats, ketchup, Worcestershire, salt, egg, milk, and the cooked vegetables.

4. On a large casserole dish, shape the mixture into an ugly foot. Nest the half onion at the ankle and press onion bits into the toes for nails.

5. Bake for 45 minutes, then cover with glaze and bake another 15–20 minutes. Desired internal temperature: 160°F.

6. Let rest 10 minutes before slicing.

A double batch is encouraged—most excellent reheated. Serve with mashed potatoes and green beans or peas.

Our sincerest thanks to “At Home With Amy Sedaris” for introducing Fox & Thistle Studio to Feetloaf!

This recipe was originally featured in the Kettle & Crumb section of the October Hunter Moon Issue of our newsletter, the Liminal.